I Want to Foster, but My Partner Doesn’t!
How to Approach the Conversation…
Deciding to become a foster carer is an exciting, life-changing choice, but what happens when one partner is ready, and the other isn’t? It’s not uncommon for one person in a couple to feel more eager about fostering while the other is uncertain or hesitant.
At Skylark Fostering, we understand that fostering is a big commitment, and it’s natural to have concerns. Here’s how you can approach the conversation with your partner and explore the rewards of fostering together.
Why One Partner Might Be Hesitant
If your partner isn’t as keen on fostering as you are, it’s important to understand why. Some common concerns include:
Fear of change – Worries about how fostering might affect your relationship, routine, or family life.
Emotional challenges – The concern about forming attachments and then saying goodbye.
Impact on personal time and lifestyle – Questions about how fostering will fit into work, social life, or hobbies.
Financial considerations – Wondering if fostering is financially sustainable.
Confidence in parenting skills – Feeling unsure about handling the challenges of a fostered child’s needs.
Rather than dismissing these concerns, take the time to listen, validate their feelings, and explore solutions together.
The Benefits of Fostering as a Couple
Fostering as a couple brings a unique set of strengths and benefits:
✔ Shared Responsibilities – One person doesn’t have to take on all the duties alone. From school runs to emotional support, fostering works best as a team effort.
✔ Emotional Support for Each Other – Having someone to talk to about challenges, successes, and the emotional ups and downs makes the journey easier.
✔ Positive Role Models for Children – Children in care benefit from seeing healthy relationships and teamwork.
✔ A Chance to Grow Together – Fostering strengthens relationships by encouraging communication, teamwork, and shared purpose.
✔ Financial Security – With generous fostering allowances, fostering can offer a financial incentive while doing something meaningful.
How to Encourage Your Partner to Consider Fostering
If your partner is unsure, here are some ways to help them see the potential joys and rewards:
💬 Have an Open and Honest Discussion
Share your reasons for wanting to foster and ask them to voice their concerns without pressure. Fostering is a team effort, and both partners need to feel comfortable with the decision.
📚 Gather Information Together
Many worries stem from misconceptions. Talk to us about our training opportunities, support networks, and financial allowances. Skylark Fostering provides detailed guidance, free training, and round-the-clock support to ensure carers never feel alone.
🏡 Attend an Information Session
Joining one of our no-obligation fostering information session can provide clarity. Hearing from experienced foster carers and professionals might help your partner see the bigger picture.
💖 Consider Short-Term or Respite Fostering
If committing to full-time fostering feels overwhelming, start small! Respite fostering (caring for a child for a weekend or a few days at a time) can be a great way to experience fostering without the long-term commitment.
👨👩👧 Talk to Other Foster Carers
Speaking to couples who have been through the same situation can be incredibly reassuring. Many people who were initially reluctant to foster later say it was the best decision they ever made!
A Decision Best Made Together
While fostering is an incredibly rewarding experience, both partners must be on board for it to work successfully. Take the time to discuss, gather information, and explore options at a pace that suits you both. If your partner is still unsure, don’t rush – the right decision will come with time, understanding, and support.
At Skylark Fostering, we’re here to help. If you’d like to chat about fostering, explore options, or attend an information session, get in touch today – we’d love to hear from you! ❤️